Last year i was plagued by Eco-Dorks.  Everything had to be “green”


Hey, don’t get me wrong I’m totally down with  saving the planet.

It’s just a lot of these folks are missing some perspective.

I remember one project;

They tore down a  perfectly serviceable 2500 square foot house and built a giant house.

But it’s OK because they were doing everything “green”

like all my clients these days, they had stumbled on some obscure  green wood product on the net.

Of course it had to be shipped from Finland. How’s that for carbon credits?

I guess there isn’t a lot of sun in Finland because the finish was breaking down fast on the building. Of course it was used  on the fascia, which meant someone has to go around every year  on a tall ladder and wipe it with super strong solvent.

They profiled the ” green ”  remodel in the local shelter worshipping magazine.

The next issue the solar guy complained that his panels had been photo shopped out of the photos.

Green yes.  Inelegant, no.

The owner  got transferred overseas  just before the project was finished. I believe it sat empty for at least a year.


I have discussions with a friend who has a company that does ” evaluations of your energy envelope”

Getting that last 10 percent of efficiency by gasketing up your house tighter than a drum

means mold, rot, and unhealthy air. How green are major repairs?


These new cementicious siding materials?  It’s going to be the new asbestos, mark my words.

I suggest any new material you found on the net should  have a history of local installation, with a local distributor.

I hate to say this, but wood is a renewable material and breaks down into biofuel later. Of course it hasn’t been responsibly managed to date.


here’s another a  scenario  i see every day that involves a tremendous amount  of waste and energy;

You decide to sell your house. The listing agent brings her friend ” the stager”.

An army of folks swarm over your house and tear out every thing dated like old cabinets.

Time for some new ones! Only it’s just for resale, so get some cheap ones and make sure they are bland.

It sells and 30 days later an army of contractors are swarming over your house to put your

personal stamp on it. In come the new cabinets. The third set in as many months. The others are in the landfill.

Over in the corner the owner is bragging to her friend about the “green” concrete countertops.

 never mind  that concrete is one of the most polluting and energy depleting materials out there.

In five years, the whole scenario repeats.


I’m sorry, this whole monument to your ego stye of nest feathering has to go.

There are whole tv channels dedicated to this nonsense.

We need to find self esteem some other way. Find another creative outlet. There is nothing heroic about decorating your home. it’s just a building. 

We have come to see our homes as one part ATM machines, one part artistic canvas,

and one part marker of social status.

If you are going  to arbitrarily tear the house apart every ten years, maybe we need to re-think this deal.

I got a really wild and goofy idea. Instead of trying to make a house last forever which is  a huge and unending expense,

what if we just excepted that the house is a temporary object ( like ourselves)

I started crunching the numbers;

You could buy some dorky tent like abode like a ” yurt” or a log cabin kit and plop it down on a concrete pad for say  35 grand. After 30 years,  you could replace the whole thing again, if you like

How does that compare to working 60 hours a week at a job you cant stand to buy your  5 bathroom castle?

Just asking.

Anyhow the green folks have disappeared.  Ain’t  heard a peep. Not a single person has asked me  in months about green


I expect them back in about 10 years.

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