Gun Control

January 15, 2013

Mr. Poopy is in favor of gun control.

he would prefer that you have some control over where the thing is aimed, assuming that it is not aimed at me.

Since you don’t need a machine gun to hunt a deer, we are left with the 2nd amendment thing.

I’m pretty sure the folks putting together the US, with their single shot muskets, were not thinking that we would be spraying 30 bullets with a single squeeze of a trigger when they drafted the constitution.

The forming a militia thing had a different context too as a bunch of farmers had just fought a war against the british army  to form a country.

So unless you think we need to protect ourselves from OUR OWN GOVERNMENT, that argument goes out the window.

If you DO think that’s a possibility, than you would be horribly outgunned anyhow, as the armed services have way more high tech weaponry stuff at their disposal than you can even  imagine.

And who is the government, anyhow?

It’s made up of citizens, both elected officials, and low paid employees. In other words, us.

I love how bubbas are always anti social spending, yet 62 percent of the budget goes to defense.

And funny how we are always “defending” ourselves in OTHER countries.

And they are SO pro military, yet they are planning on shooting OUR OWN SOLDIERS with their Walmart purchased guns?

So it boils down to ignorant people being riled up by those who are making money off these guns.

Like they say, follow the money.

What do Women Want?

January 12, 2013

I think Freud, being a man, missed the forest while looking for a single tree.

The answer is simple.

They want a whole bunch of different things.

And the best part is many of those things are incompatable and create conflict.

And it drives them crazy.

There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?


chicken and waffle taco

January 9, 2013

chicken and waffle taco

” …… i’m at the combination pizza hut and taco bell….”

Just Sayings

November 29, 2012

I love when people say  “i dont like organised religion”.

What, you prefer disorganised religion?

“i don’t like organized sports” .   You will probably like one of my kids soccer teams, then.

” organized crime” is bad, right?  Well, i bet their houses are neat.

Or, i’m not religious, but i’m spiritual. Huh?

Or, “i’m not a vegetarian, but i dont eat red meat”.

Is ” red” meat bad, and other colors good?

Or, i don’t eat meat, but i eat fish. How is fish not meat? Never understood that.

Or,  “i im a vegetarian but im ovo lacto.”  Look, the animal that gave you the milk or eggs in a factory farm suffered just as much as the animal that was butchered for meat.  Plus, the animal is going to get slaughtered anyway and fed to somebody when it gets old.  Or did you think its was going to be put in a shoe box and buried in the back yard with a little ceremony?

“meat is murder”.  Then why are animals made out of meat?

I should remind you that your “animal children” are carnivores. Are they then “bad”? Or is it different because their dinner  comes in a can?

Or, in  baseball: ” the players win the games, i just fill out the lineup cards”. All the sportwriters nod sagely.

Then why do they have manager of the year awards?

Or, good pitching beats good hitting.

Except when good hitting beats good pitching.

“i may not agree with your religion, but i will die fighting for your right to practice it”.

Really, you will get blown up by a land mind so Tom Cruise can get clear and meet Lord Zenu?

“Save Tibet” ( bumper sticker)  I’ll get to that right after lunch.

” Uncle Nestor is turning over in his grave”.   Good thing we bought that extra big coffin.

“he is looking down on us right now and smiling”.  Should i go outside  and wave?

Hey, wait a minute, i thought you said he was in his grave!

Is Nothing Sacred?

November 26, 2012


That’s pretty much how I see it.

I know we are supposed to respect people’s “beliefs,” but why are they “sacred”?

A “belief” in this context is wanting something preposterous to be true in the absence of evidence.

And you are not allowed to question or you are ‘ attacking” their “beliefs”.

I try to be respectful, partly because it doesn’t  cost anything and partly out of self preservation, but I just can’t take someone seriously when they go all  dogma speak.

I mean they actually take these ancient scribbles as infallible user guides?

And I love how people tie themselves in knots to reconcile all the irrational contradictions.

Look,  it’s either “the word of god” and it’s all perfect, or it’s not.

Because if ONE THING in there is incorrect, then it’s ALL open to debate.

And once you go there, it all falls apart.

So many parents i’ve met have felt compelled to start their kids on a religious indoctrination because they have to “belong” to “something”.  You can’t just have them grow up in a “vacuum” can you?

In my mind, this is child abuse.

Kids trust their parents and caregivers and have no filters. They have no critical thinking skills and take everything at face value. You can’t just  fill their impressionable brains with propaganda.

i know how powerful this phenomenon is  because i have branded my kids with a love of the local sports teams and a hate of the traditional rivals. : )


The Whitest Movie Ever

November 26, 2012

The Retrievers.  2001

Over the years, i have had to take one for the team and sit through a lot of kid movies.

Don’t tell anyone, but i actually like some of them.

Kid movies have gotten a lot better in general.

However, there is a whole category of movies like this one, that is just full of the most annoying characters, situations, and dialog.

What makes it worse, is my youngest has the annoying habit of checking these movies out from the library, then watching them 30 times in a week. Ouch!

I’m not going to go into it, not because i might spoil it for you, but because i feel ill when i think about it.

Ok, let’s just say that it features a spoiled middle class white family and their struggles around their fluffy golden retriever dogs.

In other news, 60% of the worlds population lives an entire family in a ten by ten room with no running water and their entire day is spent in a fruitless search for calories.

UPDATE: A challenger has arrived.

Santa Paws 2

i realize i am not the target demographic for this movie, but still.

Truly awful.

Gentrification Has A New Name

November 24, 2012

And it is Cora.

Seriously, there are four girls under the age of 5 within a block of me that are named Cora.

All the parents swear they have never heard of anybody else with that  name before. Probably unconsiously absorbed it from some media source, i’d guess.

They are all from the same tribe. Which is to say, the web 2.5 peeps that have been taking over my hood.

i only see them on weekends because they work 60+ hours a week.

The parents, that is.

I Hate Books

November 15, 2012

Just Kidding.

Love books, love the user interface,the tactile thing, even the smell.

But just don’t give me any more  books, please.

I’m done.

They take up space. Lots of space.

i dont believe in keeping them as  trophys.

I just read a book once,  what with all the others out there i don’t have time for.

And after you have read them, they have no value.

Yesterday i took a big pile of very cool books around to 3 bookstores in my highly literate city.

Nobody would give me a penny for a single one of them.

I did get a free book for answering a trivia question, however.

Great. Now i’ll have to throw that one away, also.

Actually, i just took them to a  thrift store where they will sit for an eternity.

Sorry to all the bookstore owners, publishers, editors, illustrators, and authors, but it’s off the the library for me.

I realize i’m not like other americans, but i don’t feel the need to “own” movies or sound recordings either.

I used to make an exception for reference books, but now i can just look it up on the phone.

Even  cookbooks seem outdated when you can look up thousands of recipies in an instant.

And phonebooks? Anybody old enough to remember those?

Yes, you really can cut down on paper, which is a good thing.

Dia De Los Hueros

November 3, 2012

I just went to a dia de los muertos event in the rapidly gentrifying, but still somewhat latino neighborhood.

I had never been to this event and it was about 95% white hipsters.

I’d say two thirds of the people were in their dia de los muetros costumes. Like calavera  face paint.

I guess i’m just too sensitive, but i find that kind of  thing  a bit cringe inducing.

Same thing on Cinco de Mayo when they decend into the same area to get hammered on tequila.

Or, as i call it, Drink-o de mayo.

i don’t know, the phrase cultural appropriation comes to mind, but como seya.

The Worriers

October 27, 2012


Nothing suggests the expression ” first world problem” for me like walking through whole foods.

Man, Gentry sure is scared.

There are dangers lurking everywhere.

How many of you wake up thinking ” I sure feel oxidized today”?

Don’t worry, there are rows of containers here containing ” anti oxidants”.

Every year they discover new ones!

One year it’s cranberries, so let’s stuff them into everything. Next year it’s on to blueberries, small red beans, prunes, pomegranites, and so on.

After some study noticed that coconuts have good nutritional properties, loads of products showed up with coconut juice.

You could just eat a coconut, but thats  just not efficient enough for some people.

And how many of you lay awake at night thinking ” I need more biotics”?

You can avoid that by selecting from stacks of bottles containing “probiotics”?

Other potential death traps include gluten, wheat, salt, meat, soy, corn,  hormones, pesticides, lactose, and all number of things that cause allergies.

Apparently, many here are also concerened with their brains, as there are many products here that address various brain deficiencies.

They are often named after whatever you are worried about like ” virilty” “concentration” ‘flexability”

Also enjoy all the products that use the word “guilt free” on the packaging.  I suspect people in guatemala don’t spend a lot of time feeling guilty  about any kind of food they can mamage to  find.

How do people in other parts of the world even  survive long enough to reproduce so that our species can continue?

Fortunately, one subset, wealthy neurotics, are taking action.